Mountain View Mommy: Sand, Trucks and Testosterone

July 9, 2007

Entrainement de la toilette – via la France

Filed under: Stories — by mvmommy @ 3:15 am

I have no idea if that is the right translation for “Potty Training the French Way” … but that is what was intended.

Only a great-grandmother can make potty training even more difficult than it already is. I say that with a laugh and a smile.

My grandparents are from Europe, and in their old age they have come to love their bidet. Yes, I mean the toilet that is really not a toilet, more of a bathtub for your butt. Or a fountain for your butt if you prefer. They had one installed a few years back when they remodeled their house. I have always found it funny and chuckle to myself whenever I see it.

The other day we were visiting & my son noticed this strange contraption in their bathroom. After quizzing me on it endlessly, he decided that he wanted to try it. So I told him, if he pooped on the regular potty, he could use the bidet to clean himself off afterwards. Sure enough, without fuss, he pooped a little later & then insisted upon using it.

I have never used one before, so I had to haul my grandmother into the bedroom in the middle of the night to show me how to turn it on. Andrew promptly sat on it and announced that he liked it & it felt good. He refused to come off of it, until I had to drain the thing and tell him there was no more water in the house.

The next morning, he tried to poop again just so he could use it. And he asked if he could take the bidet with us to go home. I rolled my eyes and said no. What 2 year old uses a bidet around here? I have got to have the kid with the cleanest butt for miles around.

Well tonight, Andrew surprised me. After all his recent fuss about pooping on the potty, he decided to kick it up a notch. He got out of bed tonight, walked into the bathroom by himself, and pooped by himself. I stumbled upon him with no warning when he ran out of the bathroom yelling “I pooped, I pooped!!”

Promptly after proving to me that he really did it – he asked to use the bidet. He decided he didn’t like toilet paper, and that Mommy should go get the car so we could drive Omi’s and Opa’s house to use their bidet. When I explained that it was nighttime and too far to drive an hour every-time he pooped – he told me that we needed a bidet for our house.

Oh for goodness sake. Is this the sort of bribery that pooping on the potty is going to resort to?

His father going to kill me when he gets home from his business trip. I can just see the look on his face when Andrew runs up to him telling him how nice his butt feels after he poops and cleans himself with a bidet. I am sure that Daddy will teach Andrew more farting and burping noises as an appropriate retaliation.


1 Comment »

  1. that is too too funny. In my fantasy world where I get to build a house, I am so going to have a bidet. WHeeee!

    Comment by Stefania/CityMama — July 15, 2007 @ 11:11 pm |Reply

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