Mountain View Mommy: Sand, Trucks and Testosterone

June 19, 2007

Spider Man

Filed under: Nathan — by mvmommy @ 7:29 am

When I married my husband, I knew that he was not going to be the one to kill the bugs in our house. I knew this because of the story he repeatedly told me about being a little boy living in Texas. He only lived there for a year, but apparently that was all it took to traumatize him forever.

He describes bugs as ‘big as his head’ living there. And seriously, he will not back-down from that description. He SWEARS they were that big. So thus, he runs like a little girl every time a bug comes near him. (Okay that might be an exaggeration, but seriously you should see his arms flailing all over trying to shoo a random bug away). Maybe he thinks that since he grew up, so did the bugs. Thus, they were keeping the size ratio even over the years. Yeah, you know, because the bugs have been eating their Wheaties, just so as no to be out-done.

Tonight there was a MONSTER of a spider in our bedroom. I don’t even notice these things. I walked right past it to the bathroom. Of course, he noticed. It’s the first thing he saw when walking into our room. He wasn’t even aware of the fact that our bed was made for the first time in a month. Nothing deterred him from noticing the spider on the wall.

When I told him, “you’d better get that.” He just looked at me and said “YOU’D better get that.” Yup. That’s right. My hunk of a husband, super-duper triathlete, all-around awesome man… crippled by the little ‘ol spider.

I told him that I would, but I can’t reach it. It’s on the ceiling and it was too high. So he simply informed me that the Lysol can was in the bathroom and I could use that. Sure enough, I had to take that tactic. Perched on the side of the bed, leaning over the dresser, angled at the ceiling… I shot at the poor spider.

The thing went tumbling down behind our dresser… about 2 feet away from our bed… and who the heck knows where it is right now. I tried finding it with a flashlight, but no luck.

So now I can’t sleep for fear of retribution. I am sure that the spider’s gonna get me. And I blame my husband. If he would have just man’d up and got that spider, we could all be sleeping right now. If he sleeps in the guest room, you can bet he will blame my snoring… but we will all know the truth.


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