Mountain View Mommy: Sand, Trucks and Testosterone

April 16, 2007

the gym wants me to be fat

Filed under: Parenthood — by mvmommy @ 6:02 am

Every month I pay my YMCA membership dues.  It happens automatically.  They just charge my credit card.  I have it built into the budget… so it’s almost like paying for toilet paper.  You pay for it & flush it down the drain. 

Why?  Because do I go every day? No.  Do I go every week? No.  Do I go every month? No. 

I used to be great about it – that was until Justin got separation anxiety.  BIG TIME.   They had to come get me after 9 minutes.  That pretty much sealed the deal on me getting to work out.  We stopped going when it was clear he wasn’t going to ‘get used to the gym’. 

Now he’s older, and has started severing the invisible umbilical cord.  This is great!   So I say – let’s get back to that gym.  Money’s a’wastin’.   And there is precious baby fat that I would like to part with. 

So off to the gym we go.  I bring the trusty Pacifier in case all hell breaks loose and they need to bring in the big guns.   Sure enough.  After a few test runs… Pacifier inserted into mouth… work out is able to be accomplished.  YEAH!

However, just when that happens… my kids get sick.  Why?  Because of the germ infestation that is called ‘the YMCA childcare’.    At first I thought it was a fluke.   So I waited until Justin was better to go back.  But then Andrew got sick.  So I waited until he got better.  But then he passed it back to Justin.  So three weeks later… we try to go to the gym again.   Clearly, I am losing lots of weight, since working out one time a month is the optimal way to do it. 

We go to childcare.  Pacifier inserted in mouth.  Workout accomplished.  WHAM.   Kids sick again.  Seriously.  No joke.   This time I wait about a month for them to do the merry-go-round of germ passing.   

Back at the gym this past Thursday.  Sure enough…. my kids are sick again by Saturday. 

What the HELL!!!!!    Don’t they sterilize anything there?  Am I the only mother who keeps my kids home when they are sick?  Does everyone in Mountain View say… ‘oh my kids are sick, let’s go to the gym’.   

Clearly, the gym wants my money – and they want to be fat.  They must be laughing in my face every time I try to go through those doors at daycare.   “Oh here comes Michelle, let’s give her kids a big dose of bronchitis this week.  That will be fun.  And while we’re at it – let’s be sure the plague hits right during her PMS so that she’s stuck at home with raging hormones, a bloated body, and sick whiny kids.” 

Good times.  Good times.


1 Comment »

  1. I’m positive that is not the thinkings of the gym Michelle. Here’s some advice;

    can you get anyone to watch over the kids for at least 2 x per/week so you can get some resistance training in?

    you can save your cardio for outdoors so you can do it anywhere

    You can maybe place your membership on hold for a small fee?

    There’s a website called you can go to this site an place your membership for transfer if you wish.

    Comment by riacrdo — April 16, 2007 @ 6:16 pm |Reply

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