Mountain View Mommy: Sand, Trucks and Testosterone

February 18, 2007

Valentine’s Picture

Filed under: Stories — by mvmommy @ 8:25 am

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This picture is my attempt at capturing a sweet Valentines moment with my two squirming toddlers. Any chance I get, I attempt to get a good picture of myself with the boys. So far, I have not achieved that Kodak shot where both kids are sitting calmly on my lap, smiling at the camera, looking like there is no place they would rather be. Usually I get something like this – that says something a lot different than ‘my kids are adorable.’ Every time I see this picture I have to laugh, not only because of what is in the picture – but because of what was happening 20 minutes prior to the picture and the 20 minutes after the picture.

Things I was a witness to during the 20 minutes before the picture was taken:
the destroying of my girlfriend’s landscaping with a mini shovel & wheelbarrow
the running and jumping on top of a oversized excersize ball, so that they could be flipped over it onto the grass
the flying of large amounts of sand past the kitchen window as I attempted to make sure ‘sand stayed in the sandbox’
the creation of a Children’s World Wrestling Federation
the decorating of cupcakes which led to the squirting of frosting directly into the mouth
the pacifier being retrieved, because someone couldn’t keep up with the big boys and was not happy about it

Things I was a witness to during the 20 minutes after the picture was taken:
the smearing of remnant cupcakes on as many clothes as possible
the stripping naked of chocolate/dirt covered boys in the backyard
the naked boys loving being naked and running away from their mothers
the naked boys being caught, but refusing clothes and wanting nothing to do with diapers
the forceful removal of my children from the premises
the strapping of all sugar-filled bodies into immobile car-seats to go home

As I laugh at the picture I notice that there are many subtle hints to the mayhem. The obvious signs are my children’s mouths. Justin doesn’t usually have a pacifier in while he’s not sleeping… so you know something was going wrong there. And with that cupcake smirk of his, Andrew looks like the Devil gave him a mission that he is personally about accomplish. The telltale wheelbarrow and shovel are in the background…. while in the foreground is a the leftover cupcake which is WAY too close to someone’s hands. And don’t be fooled by my smile! Instead focus on my hands. Notice the way I have both children in a vice-lock? One wants the cupcake and cannot have it. The other wants to start exploding from the amount of sugar he just squirted into his mouth.

Definitely not the picture I was hoping for. This one was MUCH better.

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