Mountain View Mommy: Sand, Trucks and Testosterone

January 30, 2007

2007: the year of the Girlfriend

Filed under: Thinking — by mvmommy @ 11:49 pm

I am claiming 2007, to be the year of the Girlfriend.   

2004 was the year of the Andrew – filled with the amazing joy of becoming parents
2005 was the year of the pregnancy – filled with sickness, insomnia, and prenatal depression
2006 was the year of the Justin – filled with the rebirth of the joys of parenthood but with a whole new set of ground rules, and introduction to the chaos that is called ‘a family of four’

But now that everyone is sleeping well, eating well, not collapsing in a pool of tears when I move towards my purse (which indicates I am going to eventually be moving to the door), I am liberated once more.  

I have been using this liberation wisely and aggressively.   Every chance I get, I go out with my girlfriends.    Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t get many chances.  But if the window is cracked, I am going to find a way to squeeze my body through it and head to the nearest restaurant that has a bar, with the most available girlfriend I can find at that moment. 

This is harder that it seems.  Many of my closest friends have moved away to places that don’t require you to sacrifice your first born and a limb to live there.   So with those friends, we make phone dates.    However, for the girlfriends who are still living here (and have given up on any dreams of saving for the future), most of them are mothers now.  So one of us is always up to our ears in diapers, bathing kids, or putting them to bed.   And even when we plan to meet, someone’s child gets sick or husband gets home too late, and our plans are thrown in the toilet.  However, if the calendar’s align and we do make it out of the house, we have to cross the next hurdle.   What are we going to do?  The ground rules usually are: 
1. close to home – in case a child emergency calls us back
2. casual – because who knows if we are going to find the time to clean up prior to leaving the house… so a fresh shirt and deodorant will just have to do
3.  must serve alcohol – because what mother and wife doesn’t want to celebrate getting out of the house with a cocktail?
4.  must serve food – because we usually find that we are starving, because we have forgotten to eat most of the day due to chasing our children around
5.  must be fast – because despite our best efforts we all are tired by 10 at the latest.  It’s embarrassing, but you know it’s true.  And you know that when you get home, you still have to prepare for the next day… stock diaper bags, get car packed, layout clothes, set out food, plan meals, etc.  So again, fast is key.  Most moms I know can pack more into 2 hours than most people can in 5.

If you can master these hurdles, the pay off is so huge that you wonder why you aren’t doing this more often.    Being with my girlfriends actually makes me feel younger, more alive, and happier.  I am sure they are the secret to the fountain of youth.  

A couple of nights ago I went to dinner with a few friends.  I don’t think I have laughed so hard in weeks.  We weren’t in charge of anyone, and had nothing to do but enjoy ourselves.  And that is what we did.  We talked about serious things, funny things, and absolutely ridiculous things. We helped eachother through some emotional stuff.  We laughed at ourselves for our crazy parenting techniques.  We bragged about our kids to each-other.   We basically let out all the pent up stuff that was stuffed in the back of our brain, just dying to get out.   Only girlfriends can unlock that baggage, and let you feel normal for spilling it out there in front of them.  And only the BEST girlfriends can listen to it all, not make judgements, and better yet, make you feel normal for saying all the crazy things you just said.

I think I have fallen in love with my girlfriends all over again.  It’s almost like we are dating.  We are setting up times to meet.  Looking forward to them all week.  Calling one another giggling about past or future rendezvous.   Smiling, as we think back on something funny that was said.  And generally feeling like we are 21 again.   

That being said, girlfriends, since we are dating…. I would like you to send me some flowers, chocolate or wine for Valentines Day, please?  However, if you are really a good girlfriend, you know what I really want is another date with you (and I will share the chocolate and wine).   BUT, if you are really one of my best girlfriends, I don’t have to tell you what I want, you already know & you do it everyday.  Thank you.

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