Mountain View Mommy: Sand, Trucks and Testosterone

January 28, 2007

Introducing Testosterone A, B, and C

Filed under: Family — by mvmommy @ 10:01 pm

blog1.jpgI grew up in a family a females.

My mother was one of five sisters. My only sibling is a sister. My dog was female. My bird was female. We presumed that the fish was female. My dad, as an only child, was outnumbered on every level possible.

It can only be fate that I would end up surrounded by males.

blog4.jpgTestosterone A – Nathan – my husband. Luckily he grew up with females; he has two sisters. So I am fortunate to have a sensitive guy on my side. He can understand my need for chocolate, baths, and to talk incessantly… even if he can’t relate. He also is patient enough to let me drone on about my friends and family ad nauseam. He is smart enough to keep his mouth shut, even when I ask his opinion. And he is wise enough to ‘almost’ never provide unsolicited ‘helpful’ advice. He is a great father, and can easily pick up where I leave off with the boys. His ability to do what I do at home and with our kids is a blessing & a curse. A blessing, because who doesn’t want a man who can cook, clean, do dishes, feed the boys, play with the boys, and basically not just be a third child for me to take care of? I mean seriously. What woman doesn’t want a husband like that? I know I do & can’t believe I found this man to be my soul-mate and to share my life with. (yes, it’s sappy, but oh so true) At the same time, does he have to be so good at everything? There are days when it would be nice to know that things might fall apart if I left the house. I don’t wish chaos upon him or my children. However, it is sometimes helpful to know that ‘I’ as the ‘mom’ and the ‘keeper of the house and kids’ is necessary and dare I say ‘unreplaceable’ in our family structure. But at the end of the day, what do you want more: a man who needs you like a child? or one who can take care of your child while you drink your wine and imagine you are in a ‘Leave it to Beaver’ episode as you watch them play happily? definitely the latter (maybe minus the goody goody Beaver Family)

blog3.jpgTestosterone B – Andrew – born 7/04 (2.5 yrs) – sometimes referred to as ‘the A-bomb’ when things are going a bit rough in our household. Andrew is a fraternal twin. He had a sister Emily who passed away before birth. Sometimes I wonder if he is the way he is because he grew up with her. He is very out-going. He thinks everyone he meets is his friend. When we pass the park in our car, he yells “Hi, Friends”. When he wakes up, he immediate asks whose house he is going to visit, and starts listing his buddies & their mommies by name. He loves to be with other people all the time. Garbage Man Jerry. Lawn Mower Man Jose. Joey & his sister Katie with the cool bikes. Maddie next door with Jasmine the black cat. The list goes on & on. Andrew is the type of kid who makes you as a parent feel like you are the best parent in the world. If he is your first born, you assume that he is great because you ‘made him that way’. You pat yourself on the back because he follows directions so nicely, and has great manners. You congratulate yourself because he shares, eats well, sleeps well, and generally is very adaptable. You think, he must be happy because I am a great parent! Good job to me! It is parents of these kids that have lots of ggrrrreeeeat advice for the rest of the moms & dads out there. They don’t realize that their child is just born that way. That it is part of their personality. They are ‘pleasers’. Sure they are bad sometimes, and sure as a parent you have something to do with it. But if you have a child with an easy personality, the rest is going to come easy too. That is our Andrew. Fun loving, hilarious, and quite the talker. Like his mom, he never shuts up. I think I this blog could easily be about the things he says. But that is for another post.

blog21.jpgTestosterone C – Justin– born 11/05 (14.5 mos) – sometimes referred to as ‘Big J Man’ because when you look at him, he is HUGE. Everything about Justin is HUGE. His smile, his personality, his head. You gotta love this kid. Sometimes I wonder if Justin is the way he is because he’s the second child, and because he idolizes his big brother. When he was born, he refused to be put down. He would cry non-stop for hours. He can still pull that off, but with more volume and force. And then the minute you pick him up and hug him, he is the happiest little kid you have ever seen. He just needs more love. He needs lots of hugs, lots of kisses, lots of attention, and a little time to warm up – but the payoff is huge. His belly laugh is absolutely contagious. His smile melts your heart. And if he picks you as the person he loves for the day, it’s like you won the lottery. Those slobbery kisses completely make up for the temper tantrums that result from his frustration. His frustration stems from the fact that he thinks he is 2.5 like his brother, and yet his body is only 15mos old. Stupid body, holding him back already. Justin never wanted baby toys, he wanted trucks. He never wanted to crawl, he wanted to walk. He never wanted baby food, he wants what is on Andrew’s plate … exactly the same, no deviation. Frankly, he never wanted to be a baby. His determination to be ‘big’ is hilarious. There is no way this second child will be left behind or forgotten, you can count on that. He is ‘spirited’ (if you have read Raising your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka). He challenges me to work hard at being a mom and definitely makes me question if I am up for the task. And yet, he is also the one who gives me those moments that I imagined when I pictured being a mom. You know those moments … the Kodak commercial moments… where the baby comes up to his mom and grabs her face to look at him, and then goes in for a big open mouthed kiss while saying mama, throwing his arms around her neck, and smiling like he has won the lottery.  (Granted in the commercials kids are clean, as opposed to mine which are usually covered in the sand that stuck to them so nicely from the apple-juice they just drank.  And those commercial moms are always dressed in clothes that don’t have food stains on them.. with jewelry that hasn’t been pulled out of their ears and off their neck.  How is that possible?  )

blog5.jpgMy boys. I love them. They are funny, sweet, and as a girlfriend of mine says, ‘full of beans’.

Coming from an estrogen-centric family, I thought I could only handle girls. That our family would be full of girls. Thank GOD I have boys. I can’t imagine life without them or without the testosterone. I love the dirt. I love the adventure. I love the energy and the laughs. I love the body part jokes (yes, even at 1 & 2, they think their bodies are hilarious and instruments for comedy). I think I could have a football team of boys and rarely miss the estrogen.

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