Mountain View Mommy: Sand, Trucks and Testosterone

December 23, 2007

Santa’s watching you!

Filed under: Stuff — by mvmommy @ 7:28 am

He sees you when you’re blogging.
He knows when you’re awake.
He knows if you have updated your feeds…
so do it for goodness sake.

Have you updated your feeds yet?

Mom Without A Map

What about those blogrolls?

Mom Without A Map

I don’t want to be lonely at Christmas time… so don’t forget about me! I promise to keep the posts coming as my 2008 New Year’s resolution. In fact, it will be my one year anniversary… the perfect time to spice things up and have a fresh outlook!

December 21, 2007

I’m leaving you.

Filed under: Stuff — by mvmommy @ 7:18 am

Mountain View Mommy, I am sorry… but it’s time to go.

It’s been fun. But we never really clicked. It was your name that bothered me. It might be petty, I know. But I have to be honest.

No please don’t cry. I am not leaving, I am just moving. I am taking my writing & moving to:

Mom Without A Map

She’s much more exciting, and I think has the stamina to keep up with me. I hope you are not offended. It’s not you, it’s me.

You will be always my first blog love.

Oh and by the way, please remember to tell my readers to update their feeds and their blogroll too! Come visit me at my new home you can subscribe once you’re there!

December 20, 2007

And then there was an ankle

Filed under: Stories — by mvmommy @ 7:57 am

Mom what’s this? (pointing to his ankle).

Well, that is your ankle – it’s between your leg and your foot.

Why does it puff out like that?

Because it’s a big strong bone, it’s at your joint so that you can move your foot.

Mom, I think that I must have swallowed a grape through here (pointing down his throat) and it is trying to pop out down there.

hummm….. well that is one way of thinking about it.

December 18, 2007

What they hear

Filed under: Stories — by mvmommy @ 7:09 am

What I said:

Justin, please lean over the table when you eat … so that crumbs don’t fall on your shirt and lap.

What he heard:


eating2.jpg

I guess that is one way of doing it! Goof ball.

December 16, 2007

Sabotaged by Technology and Mariah Carey

Filed under: Stories — by mvmommy @ 7:41 am

Today I was attempting to bribe the kids to come upstairs so I could take a shower. Usually I can pop on a 15 minute show, and be done with showering in the same amount of time. I have streamlined the process so I can be sure that the minimal amount of damage will be done to the house, themselves & their sibling while I am not able to run interference.

So anyway, Justin refused to come upstairs. So I left him downstairs while I got Andrew settled, and then went down one more time bring him up.

While I had been upstairs, he had done the following:

Gone into my purse
Found the coveted possession… my phone
Flipped it open and found the music download section
Accepted the charge of $2.50 for getting music
Downloaded Mariah Carey’s “All I want for Christmas”
And proceeded to listen to it on the phone while sitting on the couch like Al Bundy.

Seriously…. Justin is amazing. He just turned 2 less than a month ago, and he has already used features on my phone that I haven’t even explored. He a technological genius in the making. HOWEVER, he has a horrible taste for music. Mariah Carey? Seriously? Really? I didn’t even like her when she was popular. Can’t you at least do Beyonce instead?

In any case, I was not going to spend $2.50 on that woman. Anyone else, I would have sucked it up… but not for someone who can screech to an octave only dogs can hear. So I called AT&T to have them reverse the charges. I figured we would all have a good laugh about the situation when I told my story. I really ham’d it up for good measure.

The only response I got was “I do apologize for the inconvenience” in the most deadpan voice you have ever heard.

Then I was interrogated like I had called the FBI – they wanted to ensure I was truly the wife of the person whose name was on the bill & that I really wasn’t trying to steal Mariah Carey songs for my own personal gain. What’s your name? Whose name is on the bill? What is your relationship to him? What’s his mother’s maiden name? What’s his social security number? What’s his favorite food? Does his wake up happy in the morning? Why don’t you like Mariah Carey? Why don’t you like her song? Don’t you like Christmas?

Just kidding.

In the end, the lady reversed the charges for me and asked if there was anything else she could do for me today. I said, “yes, can you child proof my phone somehow?”

She just said, “don’t worry ma’am, I don’t like Mariah Carey either”

Well, thank goodness for that!

December 14, 2007

I DO!

Filed under: Nathan — by mvmommy @ 7:47 am

Today, 10 years ago, Nathan asked me to marry him.

Today & everyday, I thank God that he did.

Some people don’t believe in soul-mates. I think that those people just haven’t found them. I was one of the lucky ones. The minute I spent more than 30 minutes with this man, I knew that he was ‘the one’. Not in a ‘lady, you are psycho‘ way… just in the way that a woman knows that she has met her better half. I knew it at my core. I told my best friends… I dumped my boyfriend… and I waited. Sure enough, he was doing the same thing!

Ten years later, life has changed.

Friends have come and gone. Our families have had a lot of ups & downs.  There have been some hard times.   There have been some fabulous times.  Babies have arrived. Joy has filled our house, more than I had ever imagined that it could. My constant happiness stems from my partner, my best friend, my husband.

Thank you for asking me to marry you. I would do it again & again & again.

December 13, 2007

Since we are on the potty theme

Filed under: Body Parts — by mvmommy @ 7:39 am

Apparently my son has a vivid imagination on how poop works.  Apparently it involves sleep.   Who knew?

Here are the most recent conversations on the subject:

“Mommy, the poop is still sleeping…. so I can’t poop right now.  It’s too tired.”

“The poop is awake now, but it is not ready to come out.  I need a minute for it to be ready.”

“Mommy!!!!  The poop waked up!!!!  It wakes up Mommy!!! Come quick!”

Nathan asked me if I told him all this nonsense.   Are you kidding?  I couldn’t come up with that stuff if I tried.

December 11, 2007

Goldilocks & the three potties

Filed under: Parenthood — by mvmommy @ 7:47 am

Andrew – aka Goldilocks – has been potty trained since his 3rd birthday. It’s been about 6 months now, and for the most part we have made amazing progress.

But there is a sticky little issue that no one warned me about before I dived into potty training….. that is night time training.

I was under the impression that once you start training, that it’s balls to the walls and you pretty much take the diapers and throw them out all together. So that is what I did. I went cold turkey. One day they were there, one day they weren’t. No diapers at naps. No diapers at bed time.

Andrew’s little friend Brody was doing it that way – so I guessed that was the way to go. I didn’t factor into account that Brody is the youngest of 3 brothers, and had a lot of big brother help showing him how to get it right.

Little did I know that most 3 year olds still wear diapers to bed, because it’s a long time to hold it. Over the past months we have made great strides, from accidents every night…. to accidents occasionally…. to waking up and walking into the hall and asking for help before accidents… and even walking to the potty in mommy’s room and taking instructions from me, while I continue to lay in bed (yes, that one was awesome: ‘pull down your pants, go potty, pull them up, now go back & tuck yourself into bed, I love you)

In any case, it seemed time that he figured out how to do this without waking us up every-night for assistance. We don’t do anything but stand there for support; so why not. We started the discussion with him.

Why won’t you go in your bathroom by yourself? It’s too dark.

Why won’t you go in Mommy’s bathroom by yourself? It’s too bright.

Why won’t you go in the other bathroom by yourself? It’s too far away.

Who knew he was so picky.

So yesterday we had an electrician come over, drill a new outlet into his bathroom, install a special light with the exact amount of brightness that would appeal to Andrew Goldilocks.

Sure enough, night one… he got up all by himself, went potty, and went back to bed. Not a peep asking for help. Granted I woke up because I heard him, but I wasn’t involved… that is progress. I am telling you, I almost danced a jig! I was already counting the days that I would be getting a full night’s sleep. God Bless Carl the Electrician!

Unfortunately my victory dance was short-lived. The next night it rained, and though the lighting was right, the rain falling on the skylight in the bathroom freaked him out so bad that he couldn’t even pee in the bathroom with both mommy & daddy standing by.

Who do I hire to fix the sound of rain in the bathroom?

December 9, 2007

Ironic

Filed under: Parenthood — by mvmommy @ 8:18 am

There was a song by Alanis Morissette a while back called ‘Isn’t it Ironic’. My friend Joel would always listen to the song and say … “Those things aren’t ironic, they just suck.” Since then I can’t hear the song without both laughing, and also contemplating what is actually ironic.

So, Joel, tell me if you think this is ironic.

We have this game at home for the boys. It’s called Cranium Cariboo. They love it. You need a key to open up little boxes to see if there are balls inside. If you find 6 balls, you can open the treasure chest. Honestly it’s the best game I have ever seen for kids 2-4. My kids have spent hours finding those balls.

I have spent hours trying to find those balls too.

Every time they play the game, they end up bouncing these little balls all over the house. Some end up under couches, some under curtains, some hidden in toy chests, and some on top of the china cabinet (yeah that one was particularly hard to find). So after about a year, I thought I knew all the hiding spots.

But we had the neighborhood kids over 2 weeks ago. They are 8, 6, 5 and then my 3 & 2 yr old. The game of losing these balls got a bit more complicated. After they left, I only had 2 of the 6 balls left. For the life of me, I couldn’t find any more. I even called the kids to find out if they had hidden them somewhere – to which they responded no I was playing with the egg carton, and no I just bounced them around the room. Helpful.

So after a week of searching, I finally gave in & did an internet search to find replacement balls. I found them & ordered them on the spot. Today they arrived and I was thrilled that we could play the game again. My kids have spent the last hour losing 6 more balls all over the house.

HOWEVER, at one point I noticed that there were now TWO green balls. Hummm… if one was lost… how come there are two now?

I noticed that Justin had stashed some of his balls in the egg carton….. WAIT A SECOND… egg carton.

Ohhhhh, the 5 year old hid the 4 missing balls in the egg carton. When she said that she was playing with the eggs, she meant the balls. Of course.

Isn’t it ironic that the day that I get the new set of balls, I would find the old ones?

December 7, 2007

The count is in…

Filed under: Stuff — by mvmommy @ 7:29 am

Officially 8 hours, 22 strands and 3000 lights later… the 8 1/2 foot tree has been lit.

tree.jpg

No, the tree is not leaning, that was just me and my obvious prowess with a camera. And yes, there are millions of ornaments & a beautiful hand-made tree skirt to add; but I thought I would revel in the lights for a day before the ornaments get thrown on.

My sister says that I am obnoxious, and asks if I was trying to light the tree so that people could see it from outer-space?

She’s just jealous because her tree looks like the Charlie Brown Christmas tree, and I turned her down when she offered to pay me to put up her Christmas tree lights too.

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